You KNOW You Fly Too Much When....
©by C.W. Behrens and D. Bean
This one was written inflight on a 19.2 hour leg from McGuire AFB, NJ to New Dehli, India
At Home:
1. You can't fall asleep without clutching an oxygen bottle
2. You mount a bailout horn to your alarm clock
3. You can't go to the bathroom without your knees around your ears
4. You insist your wife serve dinner from oversized cardboard boxes
5. You change all the clocks in your house to Z time
6. You keep looking for the button to flush the toilet
7. Your bed pillows are 8"x5"
8. You have a set of "trips" where your couch used to be
9. Your kids KNOW what "Howdy" means
10. You pull coin checks on your wife
11. The only channels your TV gets are CNN, AFRTS, and foreign language
12. You order your dinner NLT 3 hours before you intend to eat
13. You keep a copy of CAASS on your computer at home to calculate how many ways the scheduler can ruin your weekend
In The Car
1. You do a final walkaround before getting in
2. You call for clearance before backing out of your spot
3. You insist your passengers be briefed before moving from your spot
4. You try to load waypoints into your car stereo
5. You instinctively reach overhead to start your engine
6. You ask your wife to pop the trunk by saying "Ramp control, arm the doors"
7. You ask the cashier at the gas station to convert your purchase to pounds
8. You measure gas mileage in PPH
9. Your car sputters and you look over your shoulder for the engineer
10. You log all day/night time behind the wheel
11. You insist your kids in the back seat face sideways
12. You won't let your family in the car without a set of orders
13. You end up in Hoboken after following a pickup truck with its hazards on
14. You plan a trip to Burlington with Mount Holly as an alternate